Dog poo

Mid July. Our next door neighbor has several sisters that come over. One of the sisters is pregnant. Rachael took her dog out, then came back in. She came into my room and looked at me with this super serious glare.

Rachael: Since I have to clean my dog's poo inside, you have to clean up your dog's poo.
Me: Huh?
Rachael: Since I have to clean my dog's poo inside, you have to clean up your dog's poo.
Me: What do you mean
Rachael: The neighbors just yelled at me. Their daughter stepped in dog poo. So you have to start cleaning up your dog's poo outside. [With the look in her face you'd think I stole money from her purse. No joke, she was angry with me]
Me: Why are you taking it out on me?
Rachael: Because they yelled at me!
Me: [I pause to let it sink in that she should take it out on me. I think she got the point. To diffuse the charged atmosphere, I tried to get her talking about it. Hopefully it will make her feel better...] Which nighbor yelled at you? The pregnant one?
Rachael: No, the hot skinny blond one, because I know that's what you're thinking

I don't even know where to begin to correct her on that one.

Are you into BBW?

This happened in mid-may, and I just now remembered it.
Rachael feels that she is always right, and defends herself to the death when someone tells her she's wrong. For instance, it is her oppinion that I am superficial. Ever since I first refuted this claim, she has come up with every argument possible to prove to me that I am superficial. This is word-for-word an argument she used:

Rachael: When you look at porn, what kind of porn do you look at?
me: ...
Rachael: do you look at skinny chicks?

Society

Rachael has entire conversations with herself, where she starts with an acusation against me, argues against my position, then makes a judgement, all in the same breath.

For instance, the second night in the new apartment, rachael says....

"You don't find me attractive do you. (two second pause). Wow, you really don't. You don't even need to say anything. Those girls in Maxim are much skinnier than me, that must be why you don't like me at all. Society has taught you what a perfect girl should look like, and you fell for it."
And yes, that was all said in the same breath, in about 20 seconds. I looked at her in disbelife, not knowing if I should justify the statment with a responce, or laugh at her, or wait for her to burst out laughing because it's so rediculous. But instead, she goes "I'm sorry I disguest you," and goes back to her room. Weird.

On getting married

Rachael likes to punish me for the past thousand years of female oppression, by insuring I understand just how bad men treat women. For instance, Rachael just sent this email forward from her mom, to me:

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" the girl said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, lunching, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, and had all the hot water to herself, She watched chick flicks, never wore lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and farted whenever she wanted.

The End

I guess that means I'll never have to spend three month's salary on a ring! w00t